On being in a good mood and feeling old.

Yeah.
Four years ago, i met this girl. Her name was shayna. She was different than i. Way different. I was insane. She was closer to normal but somehow everything worked. I loved her and she still holds a place in my heart. On top of having that, my friends and i got closer together. We were inseparable. The thing that ruined my mood back then was a misunderstanding between i and my closest friend. That opened up a rift between us that pretty much ended the way we viewed each other and our place in the group. I became lost. I let go shayna out of pure stupidity. I went out with someone else who tried to control me and the way i thought about myself and everything around me. Two years i stayed with her. Two. For no other reason than i didn't want to be alone. Then after her, when i finally saw that i wouldn't be alone, i broke up with her and fell for a sex crazed chick who i would later come to find out that she had problems, serious over the top problems. But that little voice in my head that wouldn't alow me to be alone so i stuck with her. Went out with her for 6 months. Broke up, was engaged to and then betrayed by her. I don't know what woke me up. I don't even think i did wake up. I just stopped caring. Caring about everything and anything that mattered to me. And that included her. My sanity took shelter in one person. A person i love very much. Jenn. Yeah. She kept me sane. Through everything she was there. If she wasn't, I wouldv'e given up on everything. Put myself in an insane asylum just so that i wouldn't have to deal with the outside world. She kept me hopeful.
Heather Riley showed me that i shouldn't change a bit. Then a random message from Frank White letting me know that he thought i was a really good writer. Jenn seconded the opinion. Random friend request from Tamsin Wort and she also thought that i was a great writer.
You have to understand that for four years the two girls that i decided to live my days with. waste time with, told me that my dreams were just that, dreams. That they would nave be realised. Now i have four people telling me that i should stay the way i am. The my dreams will be realized if i work hard to get them.
The thing that put me in a really good mood was Tamsins random messsage. A message that has changed everythig between her and i. I was already in a good mood but this solidified it.

"nothing that s written comes from nowhere, whatever it is that we write about brings us personal growth as well as th ability to communicate through litterature.
this my own quote but iwnated to tell it to you because you are by far the best writer i have ever come across...
someone once told me,
'with some love, anyone an become a poet'
what they didn't mention was, 'when love is lost, all we're left with ar the words it leaves behind'."
So, for the recap. I have jenn, a great source of inspiration. The story of our relationship in high school and how things went is, to say the least, improbable.
Frank. Someone i trust even though i have never met him face to face before. And, even if he doesn't know it, if he is ever in a bind, i will move heaven and earth to help him.
Heather Riley who puts up with me on a daily basis and my insanity.
Tamsin. The most perfect woman i have come across in a long time. Seriously.
I am in a good mood for the first time in four years thanks to them.
I am insane, i hear voices, i am loyal, honest and i show proper respect where it is deserved. I have long hair and i am immature and people love me for it. For the first time in four years. Obama is president and i found a twenty on the floor at work.
Yeah, the planets aligned and hell froze over. I didn't think i ever deserved to be this happy.
thanks to you all.