my internal clock goes off at 6am and the sleepiness and grogginess that i am supposed to feel is replaced by the anticipation of talking to you. i think about our conversations and the ear to ear smile i get. and even though we have never met face to face, everytime i read your words and think of you, my spirit crosses 6 timezones to be with you. holding your hand, hugging you.
placing delicate kisses on your hands, your cheeks, your forehead.
my head feels fuzzy, my heart is 4 times the regular size. i have a permanent smile on my face that hasn't been there in more than 4 years and i am here now, reading my words and reading yours, asking myself if what i am feeling is truly love.
i am her beautiful disaster.
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"he's soft to the touch, but frayed at the ends he breaks, he's never enough, but still he's more than i can take..."
-beautiful disaster
In her mind, you're soft and warm and sweet and kind, and beautiful and wonderful...
when she's speaking with you, she can't even imagine "the good time girl" she used to be.
You've saved her spirit just by existing, i bet if you asked in her if she loves you right now, without hesitaion, she'd say yes.
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